1. Cardiovascular endurance is hot.
2. I wanted an excuse to buy more shoes.
3. The possibility of a “runner’s high” greatly appealed to me.
4. Being 26 and sober is convoluted and disconcerting. Running is uncomplicated.
5. Sometimes when my mind is racing, it does not stop unless my body takes its place.
6. I used to think the only way to be big was to hide away inside the walls of gyms but now I believe there is more than one way to take up space in the world.
7. When I moved to Chicago last year, the city embraced me like an old friend. I am trying to hold it back.
8. I know it will be hard.
9. I think it will change me if I let it.
10. When I cross the finish line, I will look for my friends and they will be there.

My Chicago Marathon Donation Page Excerpt:

To be honest, I have no idea how I’m going to run the Chicago Marathon, but I do know why and I think that’s a better question. 

Exactly one year ago, I moved to Chicago and after being traumatized by Lower Wacker, I decided I was simply never going to drive here again. I began religiously taking Ubers everywhere and during one of my very first rides, my driver, a sincere and talkative older man, ambitiously tried to explain the street numbering system to me. I honestly do not remember anything he said about streets or numbers or directions. What I do remember though is that after he proceeded to welcome me to Chicago, he added, “I’ve lived here since 1993. This is a city where people stay.”

At the time, I didn’t believe him. I had never resigned a lease in my life and I didn’t think a city known for it’s unbearably cold winters and fucked up hotdogs was going to change that. 

But of course it did. I just resigned my lease last month because Chicago changed everything for me. Running in Chicago changed everything for me. 

I think when you’re younger, it’s really easy to have big dreams and goals for yourself but as you get older and experience grief and failure and heartbreak one after the other, all that hope and passion and excitement begins to slowly fade away and in my case, after nihilism and debauchery ravaged the bulk of my early twenties, I just didn’t really care about anything anymore. At least not in a compounding way. 

And then I started running on the Lakefront Trail and it took exactly 3 runs that were neither fast nor long to decide I wanted to run the Chicago Marathon. And it wasn’t even in a cocky or delusional way even though I am arguably both of those things. It was just every time I ran on the Lakefront Trail, I found myself looking around thinking,, “I want to keep being part of this.”

It’s never just been about just running “a” marathon. In fact, if you had asked me if I wanted to run any other marathon in any other city, I would have replied, “fuck no” before you even finished the question.

It has always been about Chicago and holding onto the city because of how it has held onto me.

That’s why on October 13, I am running the 2024 Bank of America Chicago Marathon with a charity bib.

The charity I’m running and raising money for is T2 Team to End AIDS, an endurance training charity program started by AIDS Foundation Chicago (AFC). I fell in love with Chicago and running because of the compassion and diversity I found in both those things. And I’m running for T2 because I recognize those same values at the heart of all of AFC’s work. Work which focuses on eliminating stigma, dismantling racism, and prioritizing trauma prevention and trauma-informed care to develop and improve HIV/AIDS services as well as fund and coordinate prevention, care, and advocacy projects. Work which quite literally changes and saves lives. 

T2’s tagline is “Run Proud, Tri Proud, Live Proud” and I feel like this experience has enabled me to do all those things. I am just so indescribably proud to be part of this, the team and the community and the race. All of it. And more than anything, I just wanted to take the time to thank you for being part of this with me.