Dear Sayuri,

There was a moment earlier this year before I even knew your name when I saw you at the gym and became emotional. I was in the back corner (at my favorite squat rack) hip thrusting and so was Asha at the one right next to me. Jelly was using one of the middle squat racks to do bulgarians. And you were in the far right corner closest to the entrance doing RDLs. (I think that might also be your favorite squat rack because as we both know it’s harder to be perceived in the corner). There was no one else at any of the racks and all four of us were hitting legs.

In between one of my sets, I remember glancing over at you and everyone else and feeling a wave of both gratitude and excitement wash over me. It was the first time since moving to Chicago that I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, that I could belong here and be happy. It was such a simple and unextraordinary occurrence all of us just existing together while training separately. And yet it was also everything I’d ever prayed for as an oftentimes lonely Asian girl who grew up in a predominantly white, small town perpetually terrified to dream too big or ask for too much.

And then we actually got to become friends and it was so natural and meaningful and I realized that maybe that should’ve been the dream all along. To aspire to meet and connect with people who care about the same things you do and if you’re really lucky, you also get to care for one another. 

And it has created so much hope in me, you have created so much hope in me because I realize that the line separating the people you admire from a distance and the people you get to admire up close is shockingly and remarkably thin. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is the second time you have made me emotional in the gym, only now it’s because I’m going to miss you. I just think you are the coolest. Like you are so undeniably genuine and thoughtful and interesting and insightful. (And you have literally the best arms I’ve ever seen in my entire life). And I will miss deep conversations with you about life and reality TV lol just as much as all the fleeting waves and smiles exchanged from across the gym in between sets. You have made little gestures and small moments feel so significant and special simply because you are both of those things.

California is very lucky. Any place you are is. And I am just so grateful and delighted to have gotten to be in the same place at the same time as you for as long as I did. 

Thank you for everything, Sayuri!

With love and admiration always,

Grace