A lot can change in a year. This time last year, when I was typing out Kaitlyn’s birthday message, the recurring theme was, “I don’t know how she does it.” Because for as long as I’ve known Kaitlyn, she has been everything to everyone. The way I adore her isn’t an anomaly. It is a popular and rightfully held conviction. And until this past year, I always thought that there was just some innate, magic (perhaps astrological lol) quality Kaitlyn possessed to make her endlessly interesting and exceptionally kind. 

But after nearly 500 days of living within a one bedroom radius of Kaitlyn, I finally know how she does it, how she has cultivated so many beautiful, meaningful relationships for herself. And the answer is she works at it. Kaitlyn works at being a good roommate and a good friend and above all, a good person. She takes loved ones to and from the airport. She stays up late to comfort friends over the phone. She shows up for everyone without them even asking. She attends countless family functions and birthday parties and baby showers and even marathons lol and you never have to beg her to be there for you, she just always is. She offers to come and support you before you even have the opportunity to possibly feel alone.

Before I lived with Kaitlyn, I always thought she made it look easy, but now I’ve witnessed firsthand that it’s not. It’s sacrificing sleep and packing and unpacking bags and falling behind on grocery shopping and laundry. It’s driving back and forth to spend time with loved ones and then fighting for her life to find parking in the middle of the night on our cramped little one way street. It’s patience and forgiveness and deliberate inconvenience.

There’s this Henry David Thoreau quote I haven’t been able to stop thinking about lately, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” And originally, I thought it resonated with me because of how I train for things, how I let them consume me. But I have watched how Kaitlyn exchanges her life for more life from the people she chooses to share hers with and it’s fluid and abundant and unselfish and the way she lives her life makes sense to me more than sleep scores and Strava stats and lifting PRs.

I think that’s what friendship is, what love and loyalty is to its core. When you get to know someone so profoundly that the mystery and magic completely vanishes and in its place is something better, something tangible and real. I think writing birthday wishes and love letters are always in some way a confession. I think trying to tell our friends how much we love them allow us to see ourselves in them, even if it is just the potential of a kinder, future self. 

Happy birthday, Kaitlyn. I see the potential for a kinder, future self because of you. I know we always joke about how scary it is to grow older, but truthfully you make me want to live longer just so I can always pick you up from the airport. I love you.