Dear Sid, 

Do you remember when we decided to room together at Purdue? How everyone from high school warned you not to live with me because all I was going to do was party but you did it anyway, defending me insisting it was all going to be okay. I think about that a lot, how they were a little bit right (once again, I am so sorry for getting alcohol poisoning on your birthday haha), but not as right as you were (because everything really did end up being okay, including me).

For so long, I really didn’t understand how you could’ve possibly known that when I, myself didn’t even know, but I’ve been reading Hidden Potential by Adam Grant lately, and I think I’m beginning to figure it out. In his book, Grant writes about the impact of external influence stating, “the expectations people hold of us often become self-fulfilling prophecies” (page 142). However, Grant goes on to discuss the findings of his colleague Samir Nurmohamed which suggest that the impact of low and negative expectations from uninformed people actually has the opposite effect, and may serve as a source of motivation instead of discouragement due to the lack of credibility from the expectation holder. While this section of the book focused largely on how to overcome low expectations and hate from losers on the internet, I couldn’t help but resonate with the inverse of Nurmohamed’s study, that being the recipient of high expectations from a credible source not only creates positive momentum forward, but serves as a tangible foundation for the recipient to dream bigger and achieve more. 

This is my very long winded (and somewhat academic) way of saying thank you. Thank you for believing that I was capable of being a good roommate and friend and person (when in reality I was doing the second most amount of drugs I’ve ever done in my entire life). By doing so, you have quite literally manifested those things into fruition because I promise you I did not take your expectations of me lightly. How could I? When it comes to being an absolutely extraordinary and whole-heartedly good person, I still to this day can’t think of a single person more knowledgeable or credible regarding the matter than you.

All the things I love most about myself now that continue to serve as proof I’m okay (my creativity, my thoughtfulness, my ability to find and create joy within simple things and moments) are all characteristics that bare a striking and (not at all uncanny) resemblance to you. There’s this saying that goes, “what we love, we mention” and I guess I just wanted to take the time to tell you that I have never once stopped mentioning you since you allowed me to have the absolute pleasure of being your roommate.

I hope you are doing well and I hope you are the kind of okay you so desperately wanted for me.

With love and endless admiration always,

Grace