Kaitlyn, you’re 26 today. You’re not one to make a big deal out of your birthday, but the older I get, the more important I think it is to celebrate the existence of the people you love. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without you this past year. It was such a hard year, filled with so many low points, many of which I called you crying in the middle of. You were one of the only people who knew how unhappy I was.

There’s that quote by Tim Krieder in an essay he wrote for the New York Times about “if we want the rewards of being loved, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.” And I’ve always struggled with that, with being vulnerable, but I realize now that being known isn’t limited to just passive acceptance, but active enthusiasm. Another author expanded on Krieder’s quote stating, “being known is a mortifying ordeal not only because it involves allowing someone to see the worst of you and hoping they will love you anyways, but also because it involves letting them see the best you and hoping it actually means something to them.”

Thank you Kaitlyn for always recognizing and celebrating the best of me, the rambling writer, the baking enthusiast, the loud-mouthed, short statured sarcasm afionado. I am so grateful to exist in this world with you; the creative videographer adept at capturing moments of genuine happiness and messy love to cling to and savor until the next ones arrive; the avid traveler excited by the endless possibilities of the world and courageous enough to pursue them; the easy going and/or endearingly disastrous club attendee unfazed by chatting up strangers (men who remind you of celebrities), random adventures (trespassing), and trying new things (food that has been on the ground in a public parking lot); the compelling music and movie conversationalist always averting apathy, dismissing the notion that passion is a finite resource, and finally the thoughtful, philanthropic friend committed to leaving people and places better than you found them.

My favorite sentiment alluding to Krieder’s quote is a statement of gratitude. “Thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that I may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you.” Happy birthday dear friend. It is such a privilege to know you and second nature to love you.